animalstalkinginallcaps:

PLEASE, BENEVOLENT AND MERCIFUL GOD I DON’T ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN, GRANT ME THE STRENGTH NOT TO STRANGLE THE OBNOXIOUS COLLEGIATE ACTIVISTS THAT CHAMPION IMPORTANT POLITICAL AND SOCIAL CAUSES IN SUCH A NARROW-MINDED AND JOYLESS MANNER IT MAKES REASONABLE AND CONCERNED CITIZENS WANT TO COMPLETELY AVOID THE TOPICS AT HAND AND ABANDON THE AFOREMENTIONED CAUSES ENTIRELY SO AS NOT TO HAVE TO BE SUBJECTED TO THEIR BORDERLINE ABUSIVE OPINIONS THAT THEY WILL PROBABLY CHANGE BY THE TIME THEY GRADUATE SINCE THEY HAVEN’T YET REALIZED THEY’RE REGURGITATING THEIR TEXTBOOKS VERBATIM AND THERE ARE WHOLE NEW TEXTBOOKS OUT THERE, NOT TO MENTION A WIDE WORLD FULL OF LIVING BREATHING PEOPLE WITH WILDLY DIVERSE OPINIONS AND IDEAS REGARDING THE SAME SUBJECTS.

OR JUST FORGIVE ME IF I DO, AND MAKE IT SO I DON’T GO TO JAIL.

AMEN.